Kismet and tribulations

As my previous post stated, I did a 180-degree turn in my life, along with that shift brought one of the sweetest blessings of my life. I met someone who has the most calm and unwavering energy that I’ve ever encountered. Granted my default cynical self struggled to believe at face value what I was experiencing.

But ultimately, with his patience, I softened. Slowly but surely, we became closer and decided to move in together. Though in the joyous and crazy months leading up to the move, I started to feel ill, and I just kind of attributed it to nervousness or stress. Sadly, it wasn’t that. After a bit of back-and-forth with doctors who did not take me seriously, I finally found someone who would quickly move me forward seeing what was wrong with a through endoscopic procedure. I had an intuitive feeling that something was coming, and with that intuition, I also moved forward to marrying this lovely man of mine. A decision that has profoundly given me the space and nurturing that my heart and mind needs.

The day of our cute simple court wedding was certainly bittersweet. As we exchanged vows and promises of love, I also received a call that would change everything. They found malignant cells, indicating stomach cancer of an aggressive nature, identical to my father’s diagnosis. It was a moment of conflicting emotions, the joy of new beginnings clashing with the fear and uncertainty of a daunting diagnosis.

The words “in sickness and in health” took on a whole new meaning as we embarked on this unexpected journey together. Our love became a source of strength and resilience, uniting us against the challenges that lay ahead. While the path ahead seemed daunting, we are determined to face it with courage and hope, drawing from the love and support that surrounded us.

The memories of that day, with its mingling of joy and apprehension, remain etched in our hearts, a testament to the resilience of love amidst life’s trials.

Ever since that day, time has either, stood very still or gone at incredible speeds. I started to hustle, making all the calls/appts to do several other stage testings, a CT scan, a PET scan, diagnostic laparoscopic and and chemo port placement (as it was obvious that I would have to start
chemo as soon as possible).

Unfortunately I was diagnosed as Stage 4. The ultimate healing challenge had been set. 

And just as the news above was settling in, my first giant hurdle had arrived unexpectedly. It is said that Chemo port placement has a 1 in 100 chance of having issues; well then I guess I won that lottery. To my dismay, while intubated, after my laparoscopic procedure, my surgeon nicked my right lung during the catheter port placement, causing it to collapse (pneumothorax). This led to a 7-day hospital stay of excruciating painful and very scary moments, some of which entailed putting several tubes in me to assist in the expansion of that lung. Ultimately, my body recovered after what I recall as three separate lung collapses. Not only that, but there were several moments of failure due to amateur nurses that surrounded me, but that’s a story for another day.

The realization brought about by this diagnosis has profoundly impacted my outlook on life. My heart and mind have expanded in ways I never thought possible. I find myself chuckling at the trivial concerns that once consumed my thoughts, realizing their insignificance in the grander scheme of things. Despite enduring a prolonged period of living in fight or flight mode, I now recognize that it pales in comparison to the current challenges I face. This newfound perspective has given me the strength to confront adversity head-on, there is no stopping with what my heart wants no

It’s been well over a month since then, and I have already started on my chemo regiment of bi-weekly Flofox cocktail with Immune-therapy Opdivo. There has been side-effects obviously but with all my previous knowledge as a caretaker, I am well informed and very vigilant to steer as gently as I can thru them.

As of this entry, I am slated to do my 4th treatment next week and after that we will run imaging to see how effectively everything is going. This will be occurring around 2nd week of Feb.

As I have mentioned before, I might be genetically predisposed to get cancer but I am also genetically predisposed to kick his its ass and continue thriving as this is my ultimate goal. I have much more to see, explore, and share with those closest to me. Onwards to healing, and thriving.