2012-2022 A decade of lessons

This humble WordPress was created originally to express my perspective in the world of art and graphic design, which was my chosen career. It was a successful one as I ended up reaching the goal of working with one of my favorite companies, Apple Inc. My role in their print and web transcreation department stands out as a defining chapter in my career. While the demands of the role often led to intense work hours, it proved to be an invaluable experience that honed my skills to perfection. This period of dedicated work not only refined my abilities but also instilled in me a profound sense of accomplishment and purpose. Reflecting on this journey fills me with a deep sense of gratitude for the opportunities that have shaped my career and allowed me to contribute to such renowned and impactful projects.

Sadly, I had to take a step back in 2015 when my sole brother, who is eight years older than I am, was diagnosed with stage 2, almost stage 3, head and neck cancer: nasopharyngeal to be exact. He went through one of the strongest regimens I’ve seen, a combination of chemo and radiation, which even led him to have a GJ-tube connected to maintain his nutrition and weight. During the few weeks I spent with him, I delved into all the research I could absorb. I helped the best way I could by creating a custom calendar to keep track of his appointments and meds. I sat next to him, watched episodes of Jeopardy while giving him his nutrition through his tube, and we spent Thanksgiving hiding our meals so he wouldn’t get nauseous. I saw and experienced firsthand how weak the body can become during the process of fighting such a beast. Fortunately, he came out of this successfully, although still dealing with plenty of side effects; he is still here and thriving.

Our small nuclear family found a sense of peace in his recovery phase, but it was short-lived. During the holiday season of 2017, my 73-year-old father at that time, suddenly found an enlarged lymph node on the side of his neck while on a cruise. It took about a year until we were finally able to get a diagnosis that he had stage 4 stomach cancer metastasized to the neck, and at that point, everything came to a halt. I immediately left my home to be by his side for approximately 8 to 10 months to take care of him and get through all the red tape of being an expat in another country. It felt like a never-ending battle, with each day bringing new challenges and hurdles to overcome. All the while, I tried to reassure everyone around me that I was coping fine, that I could handle the immense pressure and emotional strain that comes with being a caregiver for a terminally ill loved one. However, deep down, I was struggling. The weight of responsibility and the constant uncertainty about the future took a heavy toll on me. I found myself sacrificing my own well-being to ensure that my father received the best care possible.

All my personal relationships suffered as a result, as I had little time or energy to spare for anyone other than my father and the demands of his treatment. Additionally, my career took a backseat as I navigated the complex web of medical procedures, insurance claims, and logistical challenges associated with being an expat dealing with a serious illness abroad. The mental and emotional strain began to manifest in ways I couldn’t ignore, affecting not only my day-to-day interactions but also my physical health. This realization marked a turning point in my life, prompting me to prioritize self-care and seek out the help I needed to navigate this challenging chapter of our lives.

Ultimately, between being a caretaker, and living in a very negative, unhealthy toxic personal relationship, on top of the pandemic of COVID, I burned out. Burnt out hard.

My body had reacted, and it landed me suddenly with a daily persistent headache. Not a migraine per se but a constant debilitating pressure that no med could control. One that led me to undergo a spinal tap procedure, trying to figure out the source to no avail. Soon after that I hit a breaking point and decided to radically change my life.

I made the choice to resign from a job that I loved, terminate a relationship of over a decade, leave the home I curated for over 7 years, and relocate to my own small apartment with the intention of seeking solace and tranquility for myself. Regrettably, I now see that these actions were bit late, as my persistent state had triggered a series of events that have now lead to the biggest challenge of my life.

I too, at the age of 45, have been diagnosed with stomach cancer.

P.S Ancestral Strength
My maternal grandmother also had gone through two bouts of cancer. In her sixties, she was diagnosed with Breast cancer which led to full right breast mastectomy (not even sure if she did any chemo) and most recently skin Melanoma, but has beaten them both! She is amazing and will be turning 100 this year. Here is a photo of her fabulous pink self celebrating with cake and roses! In the face of such challenges, her spirit and resilience shine through, inspiring not only her family but also others who know her story. It’s a testament to the power of determination and positivity, qualities that continue to resonate through the generations. As her granddaughter, I carry her strength within me, a reminder that the human spirit can overcome even the most daunting of obstacles.